What We Learned in an Etiquette Power Hour with Myka Meier Fete-a-Tete 3
Photo Credit: Beaumont Etiquette

What We Learned in an Etiquette Power Hour with Myka Meier

Myka Meier knows manners. We’re not talking stuffy manners of days gone by, but contemporary social codes. Her company, Beaumont Etiquette, has courses that “meet the etiquette needs which are relevant in today’s society.” Though many think of etiquette classes as restrictive, Myka’s focus is on making her students feel confident and comfortable. We can really get behind that.

Knowing that we couldn’t cover all of American etiquette in an hour (most of Meier’s classes are 4 hours long), we sat down in search of answers to our most pressing questions: How to be a gracious hostess? Guest?

While it may sound intimidating to sit down with someone who could correct your every move, Myka was warm and welcoming as we discussed everything from how to greet guests at our door to what shouldn’t be discussed at a table. Though we’re not sure that we’ve mastered perfect posture quite yet or that we’re properly holding our tea saucer, we had lots of fun in our Power Hour. We even laughed.

Here, we’ll share with you the most important takeaways, even though we really only scratched the surface.

What time should I arrive at a party?

According to Myka, the correct time to arrive at a cocktail party is 10-15 minutes after the party begins. For a sit-down dinner, 5 minutes later than the party is called for is appropriate. This ensures you will not rush the host while he/she finishes preparing. Never arrive early.

What makes a good hostess gift? A bad one?

Wine and flowers can be headaches for a host. As Myka points out, flowers require the host to put them in water and wine raises the question of whether you expect the host to serve it with dinner. Instead, Myka advises to try a candle, chocolates to be enjoyed later, or monogrammed cocktail napkins. They’ll show that you appreciate the invite without providing more work for your host.

What about when I’m the host? What should I serve?

Hors d’oeuvres should always be able to be eaten in one mouthful and be served with cocktail napkins or small plates. For every three guests, there should be a new variety of hors d’oeuvres. If you have nine guests, for example, you should have three different hors d’oeuvres. Always have one vegetarian option.

How about table manners?

Many of these tips seem like common sense, but we appreciated the reminders. Never season your food before tasting as it might offend the chef. Always pass dishes to the right. Never announce that you’re leaving to go to the restroom. Simply go. You’ll come back. No makeup application at the table.

There were also things we never knew, like that you should take three or four bites, and then put your silverware down, or that your soupspoon should scoop away from you, rather than toward you. Or that when drinking coffee or tea, the handle should always be at three o’clock, and that when drinking tea, you should hold the saucer as you sip.

We learned a lot more than this in our Power Hour, but to get the goods, you’ll have to head straight to the source. A far cry from a scary taskmaster, Myka is warm and fuzzy, open to all questions, and has a sense of humor. Unlike your mean grandma, slapping your elbow off the table.

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